Crossword of Evertonian Woe

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Across
  1. 3. / Roses are red, Everton are dicks, out of the cup, in 96
  2. 6. / Musical artist of choice for DJ battering Reds
  3. 7. / One league goal, one forged passport, typically Everton
  4. 9. / One appearance, four goals conceded
  5. 10. / Egyptian loanee
  6. 12. / "I didn't realise I had to pay tax"
  7. 13. / Abbreviation of a popular slogan misspelt on the Goodison centenary away shirt
  8. 15. / Five year contract, four year visa
  9. 16. / Horse bothering Kopite
  10. 17. / Popular away kit colour, inspired by Benitez's cheeks
Down
  1. 1. / Gallic member of a sinking ship
  2. 2. / Warning: rocking horses can seriously damage your health
  3. 4. / Cursed by a kidnapped dog
  4. 5. / Senior sat nav for prospective new signings in the 1990s
  5. 8. / Centre half sans heading ability
  6. 11. / Message sent to Sam Allardyce in November 2017
  7. 12. / 'Stuck with...'
  8. 14. / Goalless loan spell results in permanent signing