Modern Family

2. "Now that I'm six, I like girls, but I love two girls: The Little Mermaid and Claire."
4. "I'm the cool dad, that's my thang. I'm hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud. OMG: oh my God. WTF: why the face."
6. "You know, I've got problems of my own. I can't always be the lovable sidekick on the manny show. Did you even notice I'm binge eating?"
8. French bulldog belonging to Jay.
10. "Wait, is fire weather?"
12. "I'm designing t-shirts now, and they're gonna be huge! Also medium and small."
15. "If you banged DeDe, then I do owe you an apology."
16. "What could be more natural than your mother's tongue in your ear?"
17. "I missed the first two days of culinary camp, so I was hopelessly behind on all reductions and meringues. You can imagine the nicknames. I thought "amuse-douche" was particularly cruel."

1. Friend of Mitchell and Cameron. Married to Ronaldo with an adopted son.
3. "I want them to share clothes, do each others hair and gossip about boys. Like I did with Mitchell."
5. "I had to actually come out to my dad three times before he acknowledged it. I'm sure if maybe he was hoping he heard it wrong, like I said 'Dad, I'm grey'".
6. "Sometimes, when you read to me, I pretend to fall asleep so that you'll go."
7. White cat owned by Mitchell and Cameron.
9. "To the bridge and the groom, my ex. And he couldn't wait 10 minutes to run off with charo. I'm kidding. Seriously, I knew they were perfect for each other when I saw his wallet and her boobs."
11. "Look, I love you, but you are literally the only six people here I don't want in my bedroom."
13. Phil's dad.
14. "I won cutest baby at the 1974 Japser County Fair. People at the time said I could go Gerber."
18. "I'm not a doctor yet, but it seems like you're having some sort of brain episode."