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Across
  1. 2. Locals refer to it as "scissor city"
  2. 5. Redacted 2's soulmate
  3. 6. Location of the big back chopped huzz BD awareness 4K
  4. 7. Argentinian alcoholic delicacy that may get forced down your gullet
  5. 10. Two of two things one might find oneself doing under a blanket
  6. 11. Most respectable first responder in NC
  7. 12. What Squidward needs when he cries
  8. 14. He's behind you
  9. 15. What food Martin resembles when at the beach
  10. 17. Martin's middle name
Down
  1. 1. One of your best friends' boyfriends' best friends (unfortunately)
  2. 3. One of two things one might find oneself doing under a blanket
  3. 4. Place where white people get chopped up
  4. 8. ___ Quarry
  5. 9. Legendary dive bar located in Carolina Beach
  6. 13. Cutest horse wrangler in the Zak
  7. 16. Gilda often gets accused of having undergone this surgery, abbrev. (esp. when wearing khakis)