Things that go bump in the night

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Across
  1. 1. I’m the only good guy on this list, you could say I have a great …profile.
  2. 3. that s nice barrel, I wonder what I could put in it
  3. 4. ill never look at an acronym the same way
  4. 8. Wait…did you say baby back ribs?
  5. 9. all these attractive models, Im a lucky guy.
  6. 12. describe your ideal date
  7. 13. prostitutes were my thing, but it was 1888
  8. 14. when im not killing people apparently im not so bad at chess, so a friend says
  9. 16. this pork tastes a little funny?
  10. 19. thank god for house keys
  11. 20. I didn’t technically kill anyone, my family however…
  12. 22. hey can you hold these plates; I’ll be right back.
  13. 23. you might remember me from children's audiobooks.
Down
  1. 1. I’ve got a headache, maybe I should see a DR.
  2. 2. can you help me with my shopping.
  3. 4. I used to bury the bodies in clusters near landmarks so I didn’t forget where I put them, but to be fair I did admit to about 80 of them.
  4. 5. I didn't really like killing, I did like men though- hated joggers though
  5. 6. lets go backpacking across Australia
  6. 7. what’s your star sign?
  7. 9. I wonder what marvin is telling you to do
  8. 10. can I have a toy out of your box........no thanks
  9. 11. clowns man…..freaking clowns
  10. 15. wait was that 7 or 8 people, I lost count
  11. 17. at least my handwriting isn’t this recognisable
  12. 18. would you like a glass of Chianti with your meal?
  13. 21. would you like some cordial?