Wilcrest Green

2. Exists in both code and humans. Multiplying.
4. Where dreams sit, and backs regret.
5. On a diet since the dawn of Slack — will eat cake “only for taste testing.”
7. Modern art made from suffering and conditional formatting.
8. Creator of this entire circus
9. Forgotten immediately after changing.
12. The invisible deity we all pray to when meetings start buffering.
14. Once built a sidewalk and called it “sidwalk.” Probably still debugging new package.
15. Recently back from Saudi with souvenirs, wisdom, and about 1,000 photos of the same landmark.
16. Mythical beast that only appears at 11:59 PM.
18. The eternal baby of the crew — cries when there’s no snacks, smiles when someone says “pizza.”
19. Freshly upgraded to “Dad Mode.” Runs on baby talk, coffee, and faint hope.
20. The wrongly summoned name in every meeting — yet somehow the right guy every time.
23. The ultimate mash-up model — equal parts confusion, brilliance, and unintentional comedy.
24. A spiritual ritual disguised as tech troubleshooting.
28. A polite way to say “we broke something else.”
29. Liquid permission to exist.
30. Where minutes are kept and hours are lost.
32. Universal currency of friendship.
33. Ancient beast fueled by toner and pure spite.

1. Aka Viper — and a bully. Enter conversation at your own risk.
3. Volume set to “festival,” spirit set to “Friday.” If fun had a ringtone, it’d sound like her laugh.
4. Default team setting.
6. That rare, mythical day when Outlook stays closed.
10. Our most senior cubicle gatekeeper — sits by the entrance, judges snacks silently. Recently called a victim.
11. Juggles projects like circus torches — calm face, panic loading internally at 78%.
13. Supreme overlord of sarcasm, unofficial HR of bullying rights, and full-time chaos manager.
15. Knows the schedule of every fun-day, leave-day, and half-day — possibly has a Google Sheet called “The Happiness Tracker.”
17. The true office language — replaces entire conversations.
21. The reason nothing works this morning.
22. Official food of late-night deployments.
24. Culinary legend of goat affairs; if you smell good food, he’s already 10 steps ahead.
25. You have 27 open. One plays mystery music.
26. Office companion, coffee container, and emotional support system.
27. Digital version of tapping someone’s shoulder repeatedly.
29. Newest hero of the alphabet, latest to suffer from office group chat notifications.
31. The secret KPI nobody tracks but everybody needs.