Sh*t That Happened in February!

2. On her island birthplace, the average rainfall amount for 1988 was 196 cm. This musical Piscean was probably not the only girl in the world who needed one of these.
5. Not ordinarily associated with Valentine's Day, this messy Chicago melee took place on 2/14 1929. Nothing says "I love you" like a bouquet of Tommy guns.
7. On 2/2 1887, this prognosticator made his first appearance. It's unknown exactly how much wood he would chuck.
9. On 2/15 1898, Maine was blown up in this harbor. Ricky Ricardo could not be reached for comment.
10. A poetic fellow was born on 2/27 1807 in this seaside city. He and his BFF Nathaniel probably hit the cobblestones on Saturday nights and got wicked hammered.
13. On 2/12 1809, a very evolved man was born. On 2/12 2000, a very comical man died. They have this dog breed in common.
14. On 2/23 1836, Mexican troops laid siege to a Spanish mission. They did not, however, gain entry to this subterranean feature, much to Pee Wee's dismay.

1. On 2/4 2007, royalty ascended a stage and asked to make it reign harder at this XLI annual battle of the tight-panted men.
3. On 2/29 1692, these "trials of the century" began here. If the broom don't fit, you must acquit.
4. On 2/22 1980, a miraculous Olympic-level version of Rocky IV took place in this sport.
6. On 2/24 1946, this country elected a president whose wife would be instrumental in Madonna winning a Golden Globe.
8. On 2/16 600 AD, a papal edict was issued declaring that "God bless you" should be the proper response to sneezing, a symptom of this colorful disease.
11. In "if we can launch one, why can't we launch all" news, on 2/20 1962 the first American man was launched here.
12. Taking place in this war-torn country, the TV show whose final episode aired on 2/28 1983, ran for 11 years--8 years longer than the actual war.