Across
- 3. A very loud fart took flight here (6, 7)
- 4. A 1980s heavy metal band (4, 6)
- 7. A classical musician with an unfortunate name (7)
- 11. A strange response provoked by a fruit (3,2,5,5)
- 12. A handmade childhood doll (5,3)
- 13. A vegetable that was once inappropriately airborne (8)
Down
- 1. Otherwise known as 'the Clavinova piano song' (9, 9)
- 2. A sports event that glues you to the sofa (9)
- 5. A school song that makes you regret ever learning the piano (8,5)
- 6. A highly addictive gym exercise (8)
- 8. An exercise best performed during an American sitcom (5, 2)
- 9. Sometimes drug dealers are attractive (5,7)
- 10. Must be removed at all costs (mirror required) (4,4)