A Sarcastic Christmas

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Across
  1. 3. The traditional number of days to Christmas, despite our holiday sechedule
  2. 5. Thirty-six! But last year I had thirty-seven!
  3. 7. Nobody likes to send these but we get mad if we don't get one
  4. 8. Some act like they were raised here but Jesus really was born in one
  5. 11. His story proves that you can be popular if you are useful
  6. 12. HR bans this flower at all holiday parties
  7. 14. The only person with better surveillance than the NSA
  8. 16. Forced labor is OK if they look like children
  9. 17. A protein shake with booze
  10. 18. I would leave these out for Santa if I didn't eat them all first
Down
  1. 1. Apparently this is great fun to ride in (unless the horse is gassy)
  2. 2. The only tangle more difficult than the Gordian knot
  3. 4. The number of milking maids given for Christmas
  4. 6. Every one of these has a Cousin Eddie
  5. 8. You should wash this before hanging it on the mantel
  6. 9. The most famous stepdad in history
  7. 10. This may be wood, plastic, or aluminum
  8. 13. A very expense perfume given to a baby in a stable
  9. 14. Each one is unique but together they are a menace
  10. 15. What my daughter puts in my stocking every single year