Across
- 3. Not as citrus as you'd like
- 5. Its presence on Alex's blazer caused titivation from Mr Lee
- 8. [Three words] A soggy place to rest your head
- 9. Lost in a car park brawl
- 10. Michelin star location of Alex's finest meal
- 12. [Two words] What Alex refers to his tenants as
- 15. Battle plans not required for this victory
- 16. A Leeds festival mistake?
- 18. Once caught, there's no escape
Down
- 1. Centre of indoctrination
- 2. Misspelt lead of Wuthering Heights and source of Alex's nickname
- 4. Matty _____ serenades to lost innocence
- 6. Stuffed in trouser to plump Alex's package
- 7. Alex's toilet paper at an ill-fated Cub-scout camp
- 11. The form Alex took upon realising he could use his army credentials to pull 30 year olds in Central
- 13. Best served sopping wet
- 14. Partially permanent state of member
- 17. Drunken activity best taken horizontally