Across
- 3. el is to gato, as gold is to...
- 4. Katie (Hint: not quite "Ledecky")
- 7. Football player that Dimitriy once dubbed a "sorcerer." Also the name of a well-known "Jump" bus in Chicago.
- 8. Defensive end William Hayes famously doesn't believe in dinosaurs, but DOES believe in a certain type of mythical creature. What is the name of the acclaimed Australian fantasy teen drama television series that puts a heavy focus on these mythical creatures?
- 9. If Vice President Kamala Harris wins North Carolina, Arizona, Nevada, and Nebraska's 2nd Congressional District, but loses Georgia and Maine's 2nd Congressional District, and the rest of the election unfolds as expected, there is a distinct combination of swing states that she would need to lose for the 2024 election to reach the unfortunate result of an Electoral College tie. What is the less populous of these states?
- 11. Journeyman forward, of whom the ink had not even dried on the divorce papers when his ex-wife began dating a certain famed Chicago rapper.
- 13. Complete this masterpiece of a line: "If I hit it then I own it, ... every morning"
- 15. "Couldn't take it all, so I gave her..."
- 16. Last name of the founder of a low-cost Dutch airline, of which the name may lead one to mistakenly believe that cisgender people are not welcome upon their planes. This last name is shared by a famous - or infamous - teacher at Stuy.
- 18. You may think that Hillary Clinton is the only woman in U.S. history to receive an electoral vote for President. But, in fact, there is another. What is the last name of the well-known baseball player whose nickname is the last name of this woman's running mate, if you remove "la"?
- 19. Finish this line from the Shaq song whose chorus sounds like they're playing Marco Polo with the tallest person in the recording studio: "Guarantee that you'll be dartin', pissin' and fartin' / Mess around with this and you'll be on a..."
Down
- 1. The administrative divisions of a football game, and the denomination of U.S. legal tender that Simon swallowed while at Stuy.
- 2. Bear who devoured a celebratory turkey leg after intercepting Aaron Rodgers to ruin the Packers' long-awaited Brett Favre celebration.
- 5. American Idol's well-known Armenian panther man
- 6. Edge rusher featured in the famous saying, "It's my way or the..."
- 10. Before becoming former President Donald Trump's Secretary of the Treasury, investment banker Steve Mnuchin moonlighted as a film producer. What is the biographical drama film that Mnuchin executive produced, which focuses on an extraordinary feat of aeronautics, and whose title is a homophone with the name of a famous monster?
- 12. A certain municipality in the Canton of Thurgau and the District of Frauenfeld that Simon would be well-acquainted with
- 13. Flavor of Buffalo wings that Coach Carlesi once castigated Dimitriy for ordering.
- 14. Piece of baseball equipment that Dimitriy tried jamming into his jockstrap while on the JV team one time in order to disguise that he had forgotten his cup. Later, he would go on to put a rock in his jockstrap and go on to catch a bullpen with it in there. He also briefly considered shoving a book in his pants.
- 17. Famed formal dance at UChicago at which all are welcome, but their clothes are not.