Across
- 2. - Retractable furniture destruction devices
- 3. - Personal hygiene routine that makes contortionists jealous
- 6. - The human furniture specifically designed for maximum inconvenience
- 8. - Those face antennae that help them detect whether they can fit through your dignity
- 11. - Tea kettle impersonation during moments of feline displeasure
- 12. - The ability to land on feet while simultaneously knocking everything else over
- 13. - The oceanic crack that turns dignified pets into begging street performers
- 18. - Bread-making technique performed on your most comfortable body parts
- 19. - The generous donation of DNA to every surface in your home
- 22. - The fatal character flaw that makes empty boxes irresistible
- 23. - Gravity-defying hobby that makes curtains into ladders
- 24. - The evil wizard who lives in the torture chamber with the scary smells
- 25. - Legal marijuana for felines that turns them into fuzzy addicts
- 27. - The reason black clothes are extinct in your wardrobe
Down
- 1. - Nature's way of reminding you that breakfast was a mistake
- 2. - The miracle material that's somehow better than a $200 pet bed
- 4. - Universal language for "I own you, human servant"
- 5. - Professional occupation requiring 16 hours of daily practice
- 7. - The stringy nemesis that transforms living rooms into obstacle courses
- 9. - The illusion of self-sufficiency while demanding constant attention
- 10. - The ancient art of redecorating your sofa into modern art
- 14. - The noble sport of terrorizing dust bunnies at 3 AM
- 15. - Four tiny murder mittens with built-in silence mode
- 16. - Expensive sand that somehow costs more than actual diamonds
- 17. - Spontaneous NASCAR races held in your hallway
- 20. - The lifestyle choice that makes 2 AM the perfect time for zoomies
- 21. - The furry mood ring that doubles as a feather duster
- 26. - The sound of a tiny motorcycle engine powered by contentment