Across
- 4. Tiny plastic implements of foot torture strategically placed by children at night
- 5. Location where children suddenly develop urgent bathroom needs at maximum distance from facilities
- 7. Punishment that feels more like a reward for exhausted parents
- 8. Electronic babysitter parents feel simultaneously grateful for and guilty about
- 10. Morning ritual requiring military-precision timing that never actually happens on time
- 11. Snack that somehow ends up everywhere except a child's stomach
- 12. The inexplicable force that makes all of the above completely worth it
- 13. Vehicle that transitions from showroom-clean to archaeological dig site in under 24 hours
- 15. Parenting strategy not found in official manuals but universally employed
- 17. Home-dwelling creature communicating primarily through grunts and door slams
- 20. Shopping trip that takes three times longer with children than without
- 21. Art medium that inevitably finds its way onto walls, furniture, and pets
Down
- 1. Collection of children's songs parents can recite in their sleep but still can't escape
- 2. Training for this involves more patience than teaching quantum physics
- 3. Trip requiring more luggage than a military deployment
- 6. Volume children seem physically incapable of using in public
- 9. Mythical phenomenon parents vaguely remember experiencing before having kids
- 10. The default state of any room containing children for more than 5 minutes
- 12. Never-ending story starring your washing machine
- 14. Evening activity guaranteed to trigger existential crises in both parents and children
- 16. Daily ritual that somehow uses more water outside the tub than in it
- 18. The beginning of negotiations that would impress international diplomats
- 19. Food item requiring Oscar-worthy performances to convince children to consume