Across
- 4. A buyer who gets to skip the mortgage process and make everyone else slightly jealous.
- 6. The lender’s way of saying, “We looked at your finances and, surprisingly, you’re allowed to shop.”
- 15. What someone will actually pay for the house—not what Zillow, your neighbor, or your cousin thinks it’s worth.
- 16. The part of buying a house where someone finds 38 things you never noticed and gives you a very long list.
- 17. When the seller agrees to contribute money toward the buyer’s closing costs. Translation: “Here, take some of our money.”
- 18. The buyer’s formal way of saying, “We’d like your house, and here’s what we’re willing to pay for it.”
- 19. One brokerage representing both sides of the deal. Convenient? Yes. Awkward? Sometimes.
- 20. The awkward little financial gap between “We offered that much” and “The appraiser disagrees.”
- 21. The monthly fee for the audacity of putting less than 20% down.
- 22. A house for sale that’s being kept a little too secret for its own good.
- 28. The magical moment when buyers must stop saying “we’re thinking about it” and actually make a decision.
- 29. The buyer’s last chance to make sure the house still has walls, appliances, and everything else they bought.
- 30. The date everyone has circled on the calendar and hopes nobody’s lender ruins.
- 32. The portion of your house that belongs to you instead of the bank. The good stuff.
- 34. Where money and paperwork go to sit quietly until everyone is ready to behave and close.
- 35. The legal escape hatch that says, “This deal is great… unless THIS happens.”
- 36. A buyer’s scheduled opportunity to fall in love with your house—or find the one weird thing they can’t get over.
- 37. A mortgage benefit earned by those who served—because homeownership should come with some serious perks.
- 40. The moment a seller finally agrees that the market has opinions.
- 43. Money paid upfront to convince your mortgage rate to behave itself.
- 47. Clue
- 49. When your house gets more valuable while you’re busy doing literally anything else.
- 51. Appeal The house’s ability to flirt with buyers before they even open the front door.
- 52. Agent The Realtor who makes your house look fabulous, negotiates like a lawyer, and pretends not to panic.
- 54. “We accepted your offer… but let’s not celebrate just yet.”
- 55. An offer so low the listing agent briefly checks to make sure it’s not a typo.
- 56. Rate The percentage that determines how much extra money the bank gets for letting you borrow theirs.
- 58. The brave soul willing to put their credit on the line for someone else’s mortgage adventure.
- 59. The buyer’s financial way of saying, “I promise I’m not just window shopping.”
- 61. The longest relationship most people will ever have with a bank.
- 62. When suddenly everyone wants the house you just listed. Realtors call this a good problem.
- 63. The official record proving who owns the property—and who gets to say, “This is my house.”
- 65. The mysterious collection of fees that appears after you thought you already paid for the house.
Down
- 1. When a professional puts a number on your house and suddenly everyone has an opinion.
- 2. Paying money every month so that when something terrible happens, you can call someone besides your Realtor.
- 3. The giant Realtor database where houses go to be seen by basically everyone with a house-buying habit.
- 5. The basement’s tiny superhero whose entire job is fighting groundwater.
- 6. Your annual reminder that the government also has an interest in your house.
- 7. A house where you can theoretically turn the key and start living—rather than immediately opening a spreadsheet of repairs.
- 8. One building. Two homes. Twice the potential for someone to forget to take out the garbage.
- 9. The Realtor’s favorite piece of cardboard.
- 10. The amount of money required to turn “We’re buying a house!” into “We officially own a house!”
- 11. The official document that says, “Congratulations, this enormous financial responsibility is now yours.”
- 12. The system that tells radon gas, “You can’t sit with us.”
- 13. The giant pile of money you bring to the party before the bank agrees to bring an even bigger pile.
- 14. The homes an appraiser looks at before deciding whether your dream price is actually a dream.
- 23. The grand finale where everyone signs approximately 9,000 pages and someone finally gets the keys.
- 24. When you own a beautiful house but your checking account is basically decorative.
- 25. The number that starts feeling very personal to a seller after about 30 days.
- 26. The document that turns “This house is perfect!” into “So… how much does a roof cost?”
- 27. A legal claim that basically says, “You owe someone money, and we’re putting that problem on the house.”
- 31. “We’re selling it exactly like this, and please stop making that face.”
- 33. When your house decides to become less impressive financially. Rude.
- 38. The people who may have opinions about your fence, your mailbox, and possibly your choice of lawn ornament.
- 39. The Realtor who finds the house, writes the offer, negotiates the deal, and occasionally talks their client off a ledge.
- 41. A house that has officially entered its “please love me” era.
- 42. House The day strangers walk through your home, open your closets, judge your furniture, and occasionally buy it.
- 44. Strategically removing 70% of your belongings so buyers can imagine putting their 70% there instead.
- 45. When two or more buyers decide they absolutely, positively must have the same house.
- 46. Splitting the bills so the buyer doesn’t pay for the days they didn’t own the house. Math, but make it real estate.
- 48. Realtor code for “You can probably unpack before calling a contractor.”
- 50. “If someone offers more than us, we would like permission to panic and offer even more.”
- 53. The buyer’s polite way of saying, “We found some things.”
- 57. A Realtor’s educated attempt to answer, “Okay, but what should we actually price this thing at?”
- 60. Because apparently buying a house requires sending a tiny camera into your sewer.
- 64. “For Sale By Owner”—also known as the moment someone discovers how many things a Realtor actually does.