Just Joking!

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Across
  1. 5. Why did the sailor show his belly-button? He was a --- officer (5)
  2. 7. Why did the auctioneer talk so fast? He had --- to sell (4)
  3. 10. What noise does a clock make in the loft? --- tock (4)
  4. 12. Who sings opera underwater? A deep sea --- (4)
  5. 14. What do you call a river barrier make of cheese? An --- (4)
  6. 16. What should you do if a grizzly moves in next door? Grin and --- it (4)
  7. 17. What did the rude collar say to the tie? 'Get ---!' (7)
  8. 20. Why did Caeser wander around the countryside? He was (5)
  9. 22. Where does Dracula keep his savings? In The - - - - (5,4)
  10. 23. What do you call a girl holding onto a clothes line? --- (5)
  11. 24. Why did the lorry jack-knife? It came to a --- in the road (4)
  12. 25. Which gun shoots lager? One with a --- barrel (4)
  13. 26. What is the most expensive vegetable pie? One made with 24 --- (7)
  14. 27. Why should you trust your dentist? Because he knows the --- (5)
Down
  1. 1. Why do commuters arrive at work covered in spots? They're travelling at --- hour (4)
  2. 2. Where should you plant a self-raising rose? In a --- bed (5)
  3. 3. Why didn't the snowman turn up for his wedding? He got --- feet (4)
  4. 4. Who is the calmest of the Three Tenors? --- Domingo (6)
  5. 5. Why did the honey-makers get sent home from the party? They just wouldn't ---(7)
  6. 6. Why did Mr & Mrs Wigwam go for a massage? Because they were --- (3,5)
  7. 8. What lies at the bottom of the sea and shakes? A nervous --- (5)
  8. 9. How did the male sheep load their muskets? They used --- (7)
  9. 11. What do incarcerated clowns throw at each other? -- pies (7)
  10. 13. Why is it so hard for smokers to quit? They are easily led --- (7)
  11. 15. What do you call 144 people picking their noses? --- (5)
  12. 16. What goes 'zzub zuub'? A bluebottle flying -- (9)
  13. 18. What do you get if you cross a boxer with a surrealist painter? Muhammad --- (4)
  14. 19. How do you stop bullion going stale? Put in in --- storage (4)
  15. 21. Why did the passenger strike a match on the platform? He was told to --- there (6)
  16. 24. What happened when Noah advertised places on the Ark? He was --- with applicants (7)
  17. 25. Why Hi-De-Hi actress stands in the middle of the road? Su --- (7)