Across
- 2. Has proposed on a night out
- 5. Dysfunctional human
- 6. Rapidly running out of hair
- 8. Sensational sister
- 10. Famously cannot get the ball off the floor
- 11. Previously worked at a recycling plant
- 13. Underweight full back
- 16. Thank the lord he doesn't drink
- 17. Unfortunately a Burnley native
Down
- 1. Overweight full back
- 3. Cambridge Alcoholic Midfielder 2
- 4. Cambridge Alcoholic Midfielder 1
- 7. Bell end of a centre forward
- 9. Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself
- 12. Retiree, currently club physio
- 14. Headlocks, giraffes, medicine
- 15. Good looking, bad playing