Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie

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Across
  1. 3. Extreme unwillingness to spend words or money.
  2. 4. Mythical fluid that flows in the veins of the gods, or a fancy word for goo.
  3. 8. The scientific term for chewing your thoughts.
  4. 11. The third to last, or a word that might make you feel penultimate confusion.
  5. 13. The one who carries out the final sentence, not just in puzzles.
  6. 14. Like rain on your wedding day, it's the good advice that you just didn't take.
  7. 15. Gentle expressions for harsh truths.
Down
  1. 1. A difference or inconsistency, like finding two different crossword solutions.
  2. 2. Kind and generous, like a charitable soul.
  3. 5. Narrator: Storyteller with a questionable grip on reality.
  4. 6. Jumbo shrimp, anyone?
  5. 7. Constant change, like the ever-shifting clues in a crossword.
  6. 8. Statement: A statement about statements; like a puzzle within a puzzle.
  7. 9. Thick and sticky, like a plot full of intrigue.
  8. 10. Excessively talkative, like a chatty parrot.
  9. 12. Voice: Speaking from an all-knowing perspective or just sounding really, really confident.
  10. 16. Describing my attempts at dance, or just doing something in a pitiful manner.