Things that go bump in the night

2. when im not killing people apparently im not so bad at chess, so a friend says
4. what’s your star sign?
7. clowns man…..freaking clowns
9. a mans home is his castle, but mine had some very very special rooms
10. thank god for house keys
12. prostitutes were my thing, but it was 1888
15. that s nice barrel, I wonder what I could put in it
16. I’m the only good guy on this list, you could say I have a great …profile.
17. ill never look at an acronym the same way
19. leatherface has got nothing on me, hey do you want to make a lampshade?
20. would you like a glass of Chianti with your meal?
21. Im not the only doctor on this list, but hey, at least ill give you some morphine
22. would you like some cordial?
23. wait was that 7 or 8 people, I lost count
25. lets go backpacking across Australia
26. Wait…did you say baby back ribs?
27. can I have a toy out of your box........actually no thanks

1. this pork tastes a little funny?
3. at least my handwriting isn’t this recognisable
5. hey do you want to go for a jog together
6. you might remember me from children's audiobooks.
8. I wonder what marvin is telling you to do
10. I suppose if youre going to be the best at something you might as well get the high score.
11. can you help me with my shopping.
13. describe your ideal date
14. I didn’t technically kill anyone, my family however…
15. all these attractive models, Im a lucky guy.
16. hey can you hold these plates; I’ll be right back.
18. I’ve got a headache, maybe I should see a DR.
24. would you like some candy