This Crossword Is Not For You

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Across
  1. 5. Trendy light cocktail
  2. 8. The first GIF Kate sent Manuel
  3. 10. Dumb thing Manuel called Kate at end of date
  4. 13. Name of bar
  5. 14. Kate movie recommendation
  6. 15. Nic Cage body horror flick?
  7. 17. Wonderfully niche
  8. 22. Woman hater
  9. 23. Cause of a single tear
  10. 25. Psst... you gonna' eat that?
  11. 27. Name of trilogy Manuel recommended
Down
  1. 1. Kate's job... and what Manuel did for this puzzle
  2. 2. Number of languages Manuel speaks
  3. 3. Nice and thick
  4. 4. Dr. Ian Malcom hates it
  5. 6. Foreign travel must
  6. 7. "_____ girl"
  7. 9. Our mutual crush
  8. 11. Runner's home
  9. 12. Drink Kate ordered at bar
  10. 16. Perpetual herb album (so nice I had to put it twice)
  11. 18. Manuel is certainly not this (... most of the time)
  12. 19. Kate is certainly not this
  13. 20. Name of Manuel's brother
  14. 21. They won't cure themselves
  15. 24. Lena Dunham's magnum opus
  16. 26. "Dot the __"