Week 5

4. –“Volunteering is a job where you work for free and but they don’t care if you show up late.”
5. –“I reset my router, my brain, and my expectations—all before 9 a.m.”
6. –“Finding my phone before I leave the house is paramount. Without it, how will I ignore people properly?”
7. –“His work persona is ‘calm professional.’ At home he screams at football games on TV.”
9. –“He said the cliché, ‘Live, laugh, love’—and I almost divorced him.”
11. –“My career came full circle. Started in customer service, tried acting, sold socks online, and now—customer service.”
13. –“She forgot the password again. Guess who took the brunt of the IT guy’s sighs?”
18. –“ I was reading a book about procrastination, and got distracted. I’ll get back to it later.”
22. –“My morning ritual: hit snooze, get up, make coffee like it’s my purpose in life.”
23. –“We picked the venue because it had charm, character, and not enough lighting to hide the mold.”
24. –“We started a travel fund. Right now, it can take us as far as the next bus stop.”
25. –“I’d help you move, but my limitations include heavy lifting, early mornings, and working on weekends.”

1. –“His career took a winding path: dog walker, magician, crypto ‘expert’, AI prompt engineer. I still have no idea what he does.”
2. –“Our lemonade stand finally made revenue. One hundred dollars. Minus the 50 dollar lemonade sign.”
3. –“The snack was an unmitigated disaster—which is impressive, considering it was just supposed to be toast.”
8. –“Technically, I’m abiding by the office dress code because it never said how many flamingos could be on a suit.”
10. –“Trust is the bedrock of our friendship. That, and the fact we both hate the same people.”
12. –“I literally choked on my drink when he said he was ‘an influencer’ now.”
14. –“I’m staying neutral. Unless someone brings cake. Then I’m on their team.”
15. –“Admitting to my wife I ate the last cookie was brave. Saying it face to face. Braver.”
16. –“His fruit stall didn’t make much money, but it did give him peace and quiet, away from his wife and kids.”
17. –“Why did the sentinel get fired? ‘Watch duty’ doesn’t mean binge-watching Netflix.”
19. –“He used cologne liberally. I could smell him before I saw him.”
20. –“His incivility is so advanced, I’m starting to think he’s training for a black belt in bad manners.”
21. –“I signed up for a webinar on focus. I spent most of it Googling memes.”